PLAYING WITH FIRE
Chapter Thirteen
Sully
shook his head, not wanting to believe he had heard her ask the question she
just asked. Anything but that question! Why did she have to ask about his wife?
How was he going to tell her without making known his feelings and love for
her? How was he going to talk about the woman he loved when that woman was standing
right in front of him, even if she didn't know it? He sighed, then took one
of his hands from Kay's grasp and ran it haphazardly through his hair, showing
his discomfort.
"Ya don't know how much it means to me to have ya askin' ‘bout her, that
ya wanna know ‘bout her," he began.
"I may not, but I do know you need to talk to someone, to let out your feelings.
I want to listen. I'm willing to listen, and I promise you I won't change my
opinion of you in any way once you've told me," she assured him.
"I appreciate that." He paused, completely unsure of how to begin.
Kay clasped both her hands around one of his, and he looked directly in her
eyes. "Tell me, Sully," she implored, gently.
He closed his eyes, and when he opened them, he turned his head away, unable
to look in her eyes while he was talking. He was afraid if he did, he wouldn't
be able to keep the truth hidden any longer. Kay waited, patiently, thinking
he was just mustering up the strength to talk.
"I saw her for the first time when I was in the middle of some peace talks between
the Cheyenne Indians and the Army," he began, his fingers laced with hers. Ya
already know how I got involved with them, so I won't be goin' into that. We
were meetin' over near the church and somethin' caused me to look up. When I
did, I saw a woman face-down in the mud."
Kay chuckled a little, but held back, not sure how he would react. When she
saw a bittersweet smile on his face, she decided to refrain from her laughter.
He needed her support through this. Hopefully, there would be time to laugh
about this later.
"Seein' her fancy clothes made me think she'd be upset ‘bout ‘em bein'
all full of mud, but she just stood up and kept walkin'. Held her head high
and kept walkin'. I almost couldn't believe it. First time I saw her up close
was the next day. She was in the general store and I walked in with Black Kettle,
the chief of the Cheyenne tribe. Loren, the owner, pointed to a sign that said,
‘No dogs or Indians.'"
"What happened?"
"I'll never forget what she did right then. She reached up and took down the
sign, sayin' it was one sign that'd seen it's day. I realized right then she
had a lot of spirit and determination to not go along with the rules everyone
else lived by. I knew I had met a woman who was real special," he ended on a
mere whisper.
"Please, continue," she encouraged.
"Well, as it was, we kept findin' ourselves meetin' up with each other. First,
she needed a place to live, so I rented my old homestead to her. Then, a little
boy she adopted ran away, and she ended up needin' my help to find ‘im.
"She adopted a little boy?"
"Yeah, and his older brother and sister, too. Their ma died from a rattlesnake
bite an' asked her to take care of her children. So, she did."
Kay nodded her understanding. "She sounds very special."
"After that, she helped save the life of Black Kettle, chief to the Cheyenne
Indians, when he got shot by the Army. I brought him to her cuz she was a doctor,
and I knew she would help.
"A doctor?"
"Yeah, that's why she came all the way out here, from Boston. That's where she
grew up. Her pa died, and she worked with him, but none of his patients were
too acceptin' of a lady doctor, so she came west."
"That takes a lot of courage," Kay said, in awe.
Rather than acknowledge her comments, Sully continued. "Then, the grippe came
to town, and she sacrificed everythin' to save as many lives as possible, ‘cept
in the meantime, she wasn't gettin' any rest, so she came down with it after
her medicine was all used up. Well, I wasn't about to go lettin' her die, not
when she had touched somethin' in my heart I thought had been dead forever.
So, when there was no medicine to give her, I took her to Cloud Dancing, the
Cheyenne Medicine Man, to get help. I thought I was gonna lose her, but she
recovered, and I knew right then, I had lost my heart."
"I can certainly understand that!"
He chuckled. "‘Course, it wasn't as easy convincin' her that I loved her,
or for her to admit she loved me, even though I could see it. Still, I didn't
give up, and I was real patient with her, allowin' her to get past her fears
and realize we had somethin' real special between us, somethin' that ain't found
very often. We were..."
"Soul mates," they said together.
They both looked up at each other in surprise, but Kay quickly glanced down
to their laced fingers, and Sully started talking again.
"We belonged together, that much was obvious. Still, there were times when I
had ta doubt if it was worth it. She'd push me away or tell me she couldn't
be with me, or I'd do somethin' that'd cause her to doubt me and my love for
her, and we'd be back at step one."
"You solved your problems, though."
"Yeah, there was no use in fightin' it, although we both tried real hard. See,
I had lost my first wife and baby girl in childbirth, and I had a lotta scars
that needed healin' before I could allow any love in my life again. She had
a lotta fears built up inside her, reservations against feelin' anythin' for
a man."
"But, you found common ground, right?"
"Yeah, we finally realized how much we needed each other to complete our healin'.
It was a real bumpy path we traveled, but we traveled it together. There were
good times and bad times, and there were times when we thought we'd never make
it through. We did, though, and I wouldn't take back any of those years for
all the silver or gold in the world!"
Kay felt tears come to her eyes at his declaration. He really did love his wife,
and it broke her heart to hear him tell his story. How could something so terrible
happen to such a loving man? "No wonder he's a bit of a loner!" she thought.
"Sully?" she softly interrupted his silence.
"Yeah?" he replied, turning to her.
"What happened? How did she...your wife...how did she die?"
Kay felt the tightening of his fingers around hers, and she waited for him to
find the right words to reply. "I lost her in a train accident," he answered,
looking directly in her eyes. He had tried avoiding that, but he just couldn't
help himself. Maybe if he connected with her soul, he'd be able to help her
mind remember. "I don't really know all the details."
"Oh, Sully, I'm so sorry," she whispered, her words full of the anguish she
felt for him and his loss. Twice, he had lost the woman he loved. She couldn't
even imagine how that would feel, even though she could understand his pain.
However, there was something more in her words, and she was even surprised to
admit it. She felt more than just the sadness at hearing his story. She felt
a real connection with him, although it was one she couldn't explain.
For several long moments, they both just sat in silence, each one lost in their
own thoughts. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, though. It was a silence of
understanding, a silence of camaraderie, a silence of calmness. There was some
rumbling of thunder in the distance, but neither one paid it any attention.
"Sully?"
"Yeah?"
"Were there...did you...are there any children?" she couldn't believe she'd
asked that, and she didn't even know why, but for some unexplainable reason,
she just had to know.
Sully took a deep breath. "Yeah, our little girl. Katherine Elizabeth, named
after our ma's. Katie, for short."
"That's a beautiful name."
Sully was torn at that moment on what he should do. Should he continue with
what he wanted to ask her? Should he take this risk, not knowing what the result
would be? "Wanna see a picture of her?" he asked, suddenly.
"Of course!" she readily agreed.
He reached into his pouch and pulled out the daguerreotype of his little girl.
Their little girl, he corrected, even though she didn't realize it. What would
happen when she saw Katie? How would she react? There was only one way to find
out. Slowly, he brought it towards her, so she could look at it. Kay took it
in her hand and stared at the young child staring back at her.
She looked hard at the picture and felt herself slipping into a strange void
of darkness. She could no longer see the trees around her or even Sully. She
could only see the child in the picture. The little girl, staring back at her
as if seeing directly into her soul. Shaking her head to clear her mind, she
continued to look at the little girl. Why was this happening? What was wrong
with her? Why was she having these strange feelings? She handed the picture
back to Sully. "She's a very beautiful girl, Sully. I know you must be very
proud of her."
"Yeah, I am," he affirmed, taking back the photograph and returning it to his
pouch.
"Where is she now?"
"Her godparents are watchin' her, and her brother, the youngest of the three
adopted children. When we got married, we adopted the children together as our
own. Brian, the youngest, has been a real help. Colleen is married and attending
medical college in Philadelphia. Matthew, the oldest, is practicin' law in town."
"Sully, I want to tell you how much I appreciate you telling me all of this.
I can see how much it hurt to relive some of those memories, and it means a
lot to me that you felt comfortable in confiding in me. But..." she didn't know
how to continue.
"What is it?" he asked, covering their intertwined hands with his other one.
"I am having trouble seeing how I remind you of your wife," she confessed, looking
at him.
He looked away. More rumbling of thunder could be heard, and it was getting
closer, but he was too preoccupied to notice. Could this get any more difficult?
Was this some kind of test? If it was, and it continued, he knew he was going
to fail. "Like I said, I see a lotta her in ya. She was real determined, and
I can remember a couple of times ya got real upset ‘bout my interferin',
as I recall." He allowed a little teasing note in his voice.
She smiled and blushed, dipping her head down.
"An' she didn't like people tellin' her what to do. She had a real passion inside
of her that showed in her eyes, ‘specially when she got mad. I seen all
that in you. But, the one thing that stood out to me was her compassion for
other folks. I see ya got that, too, or ya wouldn't be here talkin' to me. You
wouldn't've come apologizin' for makin' Hank and me fight, and you wouldn't
have stayed with me after I got shot," he blatantly told her. "In a lotta ways,
ya remind me of her," he said softly.
Kay felt unbidden tears come to her eyes, again, only this time, she couldn't
hold them back. She let one fall, then another, angrily brushing at them and
trying to hold them back. She didn't like letting Sully see her so overcome
with emotion. Lightning flashed, and the sky started turning darker, but again,
neither one noticed. Sully took his one free hand and tenderly brushed away
her tears. She looked into his face and saw only tenderness. She gave him a
weak smile.
"One more...one more question," she sniffed.
"Yeah?" he whispered.
"What was your wife's name?"
"Michaela."
Lightning flashed, quickly followed by loud clap of thunder, providing an immediate
sound effect to his reply. This time Kay jumped, startled, but it wasn't just
because of the lightning and thunder. She couldn't explain it, but something
sounded very familiar about that name. She thought she had heard it before but
didn't know when. "I, uh, I...I think we should get back to town," she suggested,
rather quickly. Anything to take her mind off her thoughts.
Sully looked up at the sky, as if noticing it for the first time. "We ain't
gonna make it back," he replied, knowingly. "That rain's gonna dump on us any
second," he predicted, and just as he stopped talking, they felt the first drops
on their skin. In less than a minute, it was coming down more steadily, and
Sully jumped to his feet, pulling Kay with him. "Come on!" he called, dragging
her with him towards the trees.
Kay ran behind him, trying hard to keep up with his long stride, but it wasn't
easy encumbered with her long skirt. She nearly tripped, but Sully was right
there to prevent her from falling, almost as if he knew she was going to stumble.
She saw him glance at the trees, then he led them both to some smaller trees,
sheltered underneath the canopies of the larger ones.
"We don't wanna be near the tall ones," he told her. "If the lightnin' hits,
it'll hit them, so we'll be better off here."
She nodded, unable to speak for her shivering from the rain and the wind which
had suddenly increased. She looked down and saw their hands were still clasped,
but Sully released hers and moved away, pulling out his tomahawk and cutting
at branches. She watched him, wondering what he was doing, and in less than
ten minutes, he had a crude shelter built.
"Get under. It'll keep ya dry," he encouraged.
She did as he asked, then reached out her hand towards him. "Sully, come inside,"
she beckoned.
"I'm all right. You're the one who needed the shelter. It'll stop soon," he
protested mildly.
"Don't be stubborn," she admonished.
Sully squatted down to face her. Did she have any idea what she was saying?
Did she remember anything about the other time they had been together in a storm?
He looked her in the eyes, and sadly realized there was no recognition in them.
Nevertheless, it just might be her subconscious remembering, even if she didn't
realize it.
He couldn't resist continuing their subtle banter. "Old habit," he replied,
half wondering how she would answer. His heart nearly stopped at her next words.
"Give it up."
He needed no further encouragement. His Michaela was there, she was just buried.
That was the first sign he'd seen of any hope, and he wasn't about to tread
heavily on it, possibly stomping out any chance at all. He grasped her hand
and joined her under the shelter, sitting next to her. She shivered again, only
this time it was because he was so close to her. He didn't realize this, though,
so he shifted slightly to wrap his arms around her, pulling her into his warm
embrace. She sighed and leaned against his chest, content to share his warmth
as they waited out the storm.
* * * * *
Two days later, Kay returned to work. However, it wasn't easy. She hadn't been
getting much sleep at all, since her days and nights were once again consumed
with her dreams. After the storm which assaulted her and Sully, they had returned
to town and parted ways. This time though, it was a sweet parting, not an angry
one, like so many other times. They had come to a new understanding in their
relationship, but it left Kay feeling more confused than ever before.
"Good to have ya back, Kay!" she heard Belle call.
"Good to be back, Belle," she replied, smiling at her friend.
"So, saw ya comin' back to town with that handsome fella, Sully, the other day,"
she teased. "Wanna tell me what's goin' on? Ya ain't been yaself, lately, an'
I'll bet I know why!"
"It's not what you think, Belle. Sully and I just had a much-needed talk. There
were some things I did and things I wanted to know, and Sully helped answer
my questions. That's all. We're just good friends."
"Oh," Belle said, sounding a little disappointed. "What a shame," she lamented,
but soon recovered. "So, that mean he's still available?!"
Kay shook her head and smiled. "You're incorrigible!"
"No I ain't!" Belle protested, placing her hands on her hips. "What's that supposed
to mean?" she dropped her hands and inquired.
"It means you are hopeless," Kay explained.
She shrugged her shoulders. "I just can't deny a good thing when I see it, and
that fella, Sully, is one mighty good thing!"
Kay laughed for the first time in a while, thankful for Belle's friendship and
ability to help ease her troubled mind. "Thank you, Belle."
"For what?"
"For being a friend, and for making me feel good again."
"Oh, well, ain't nothin'." She looked around the saloon at the many customers
they had, then turned her attention back to Kay. "Now, we better be gettin'
back to work, or Brady'll have our heads!" she warned.
"Yes, you're right."
Both women returned to their tasks, and Kay found herself enjoying work again.
She had gone several hours without one single blackout, when she happened to
look over to the corner table, and the action caused them to suddenly return.
This time, the images were so intense, it actually hurt her head to see them.
She was carrying a tray of drinks, but froze on her way to the table, suddenly
unable to move. She felt herself shaking, but she was helpless to control it.
It rapidly increased to the point where she could no longer hold onto the tray,
and it fell from her hands with a resounding crash, the glasses breaking and
their contents spilling all over the floor. Kay quickly dropped to her knees
to try to clean it up, but when she reached for one of the pieces, it caught
her hand on the wrong edge and sliced into her skin.
"Ow!" she gasped and pulled her hand back. She quickly grabbed the towel she
always kept with her and pressed it to the cut, trying to stop the bleeding.
Belle joined her then and helped her clean up the mess.
"Thank you," she replied once it was done.
"What happened?" Belle asked, concerned.
"I don't know. I lost my footing, I suppose," she lied. "I'll go get these back
to the kitchen and get some new drinks. Go on. I'll be fine," she assured her
friend, trying hard to hide her wounded hand.
"If you're sure..."
"I am. Now go."
Once sure Belle was not paying any more attention to her, Kay turned and walked
back to the kitchen. She discarded the broken pieces of glass, cleaned off the
tray, then rinsed her hand, wincing at the sharp pain and wrapping it with a
small piece of white fabric she found to use as a bandage. She returned to work
as soon as she could, hoping no one would comment on anything. They didn't.
However, she did get a couple of questions about her bandaged hand, to which
she replied, "It's nothing, just a little cut. I'm alright."
But, she wasn't. She went on with her work, but it wasn't easy. Her blackouts
continued, and she found herself coming out of them unsure of where she was
or what she was doing. Thankfully, closing time came, and she was able to relax.
Wiping down one of the tables, she heard someone come up behind her. She turned
and saw Jim, the bartender standing there, looking like he wanted to say something,
but not knowing how to say it.
"All right, Jim, what's bothering you?" she inquired, trying to reassure him
with a smile that he could feel free to say what was on his mind.
"Nothin', really, Kay, just that I'm worried ‘bout ya," he began.
"Why is that?"
"Well, I been watchin' ya for some time, now, and I don't like seein' ya like
this."
"Like what?"
"Like ya were tonight. I know ya try to hide ‘em, but I see it when ya
have them spells ya been havin'."
Kay turned towards him, surprise showing on her face. "How did you..."
"Belle told me. She didn't mean to let it slip, but we were talkin', and it
just came out," Jim explained, somewhat apologetically.
"I'm not upset with Belle. She's just showing how much she cares, and I know
you're doing the same, Jim, but to tell you the truth, I'm fine," she lied again.
"But, what about that?" He pointed at her hand.
"This?" she held up the wounded hand. "It was just a little cut, and I didn't
want to make it worse by letting it stay uncovered. With all of the drinks I
handle each night, I didn't need to get any of the alcohol on it. Knowing how
much the cut hurt when it happened, I can only imagine the pain I would feel
should a little bit of whiskey get on it." She shuddered, just thinking about
it.
"Well, I think ya outta let Doc take a look at it. Ya never know with them glass
cuts. I got one once, and Doc hadta stitch me up. Said it coulda gotten infected,
and I don't want that happenin' to ya."
Kay reached out and grasped his hand with her unwounded one. "Thank you, Jim,
for your concern, but I am fine." She mustered up every ounce of strength she
had to assure him.
Jim smiled and gave her hand a little squeeze. "Well, all right. I'm just lookin'
out for ya."
"I know, and I appreciate it. Truly I do. Now, let's get this work finished,
so we both can get some sleep."
However, when the Shady Oak was closed and Kay found herself in her room for
the night, sleep just wouldn't come. Every time she closed her eyes, she was
haunted by visions all blurring together. Some of them were becoming clearer,
but others were still not making any sense.
She ran out into
the middle of the road and help up her hands to stop the charging army. They
had to know the truth, know the Indians had only helped her find her little
boy. They came closer and closer, and she was scared they weren't going to stop,
but he stepped out in front of her and shielded her from their assault...
The rain was coming down very hard, but she was warm and drying off, right next
to a small fire nearby. She called to him, asking him to join her, but he hesitated.
She reached out and beckoned him to come under the shelter, knowing the risk
in doing so, but inviting all the same. He joined, and together, they shared
their warmth, holding hands as they slept...
She held her cloak closed over her shivering body, searching frantically for
any sign of the teenage girl. The wind was blowing, fiercely, and the temperature
was dropping. Would she find her in time?...
She looked from one man to the other, unsure of what to say or do. Each man
had risked a lot in saying what he did, and she didn't know how to proceed.
She told one man not to leave, but the other only got angry and walked out.
She just wanted to run off and cry, since she couldn't seem to do anything right,
and all she succeeded in doing was causing more problems...
She followed behind him, deep into the cave, hoping they would find life in
the young man who had risked his life to work here. She heard him calling her
name and rushed to help him. Together, they worked to free the young man, and
then they proceeded to the entrance, but a cave-in was blocking their way...
Morning sunlight
streamed in through the windows, and Kay opened her eyes, feeling as if she
hadn't slept in days. Truthfully, she hadn't really. She'd been able to get
a little sleep here and there, but most of it was full of images and dreams
that didn't make sense. When would they stop? When would she be free from the
tormenting images that filled her mind day and night. When would she be able
to close her eyes and not see them?
Forcing her body to awaken, she swung her legs out of the bed and groggily got
dressed for the day. She looked at the time and saw she only had less than an
hour before she had to be at work! How had the night passed so quickly? She
didn't remember sleeping, but yet it had been nearly twelve hours since she
entered her room and got into bed last night. She actually didn't remember much
in the days since her talk with Sully in the field, save the images. She shook
her head, determined to not focus on that any longer.
However, it wasn't easy, and she found performing her duties was harder than
ever. She started to feel faint, then noticed her body was acting very strange.
First, she was hot, then she was cold, then she was a strange mixture of both.
She stumbled more than once, but caught herself in time to keep from falling.
"This is ridiculous!" she told herself. Why was she feeling like this? She couldn't
remember hardly anything except her dreams, and she wasn't able to stay focused
on anything but the images floating in and out of her mind.
"Kay?"
She
heard her name being called, but it sounded like it was far away. There was
an echo to the voice, and although she thought she recognized it, she wasn't
sure. She looked around the room, but the walls seemed to be closing in on her,
and she was helpless to stop it. She looked down at the floor, hoping to find
some sense of equilibrium, but the floor seemed to be moving in waves, and it
made her feel unsteady on her feet.
"Kay?"
The voice spoke again, and she tried to force herself to turn in the direction
of the voice, but she felt like she was moving in slow motion. She couldn't
force her body to go through the motions her mind wanted it to do. Finally,
she managed to face the person who was speaking to her, but no sooner had her
eyes focused on Sully, and she succumbed to the overwhelming blackness which
quickly consumed her.
Sully moved fast, catching Michaela before she hit the floor. He knew she wasn't
well. That was obvious by the look he had seen in her eyes for the brief moment
they had focused on him. He maneuvered himself and lifted Michaela into his
arms, cradling her against his chest. He had to get her to the doctor, and fast!
It was impossible to know what had happened to her, and he wasn't going to take
any chances.
He could feel her body heat through his clothing, and there were beads of sweat
on her face and neck. From what he could see, it seemed like she was suffering
from a very high fever, but from what? He looked down and saw her bandaged hand
and wondered what had happened to her, but he didn't see any reason to connect
the injury with the fever. The lines on her pale, drawn face made it clear she
hadn't been sleeping well, and Sully couldn't help at feel his heart tighten
at how light she felt. It was obvious she hadn't been eating well, either.
Ignoring the crowd beginning to form around him and heedless of the stares in
his direction, he turned and headed for the swinging doors. He turned around,
so he could back into the doors and his last glance around the Shady Oak found
him briefly locking eyes with those of Brady. He didn't have time to decipher
the meaning in that look, but he was sure he'd hear from Brady soon enough.
Right now, he had to focus on his wife.
"Stay with me, Michaela," his voice came out in a pain-filled whisper. "Stay
with me. Don't leave me now. I can't bear to lose you." He continued whispering
to her all the way to the doctor's office.
"Doc!" he yelled, kicking the door with his foot.
The door swung open. "What's wrong? Kay!" Doc Brown exclaimed the moment he
saw the woman in Sully's arms. "Bring her in!" he directed, and Sully followed
right behind him. "Lay her on the examinin' table, there." Sully did as he was
told, then moved slightly away, but remained as close to her as he could while
still allowing the doctor room to do his job. His eyes never left Michaela's
face.
"What happened?" Doc Brown's voice interrupted his focus.
Sully didn't look at the doctor, but replied, "I don't know. I was just goin'
inta the Shady Oak when I saw her standin' there, lookin' sorta outta place,
not knowin' where she was. I called her name, but she didn't respond. The second
time I called her, she turned towards me, but as soon as she saw me, she collapsed."
"Well, if it'd been under better circumstances, I'd say that'd be a real desirable
response from a woman," he teased with a slight grin, "but since this situation
is more serious, I'll save the jokes for later."
Sully allowed himself to show a minuscule smile and nodded.
"So, you haven't seen her showin' any signs of adverse behavior? Nothing to
distinguish her actions as strayin' from the norm?" Doc asked, checking her
pulse and heartbeat.
If Sully hadn't been used to Michaela's fancy medical terminology, he might
have asked Doc Brown to state his questions in simpler words, but after five
years of marriage to her, there wasn't much he didn't understand when it came
to discussing medical cases. "Nothin', doc. ‘Course, I ain't been around
her much since we took a walk a few days ago, so I ain't the best one ta be
givin' ya answers to your questions," he stated, honestly.
"Well, first things first. We have to get her cooled down." He paused before
reaching for the buttons on Kay's dress, casting a glance at Sully as if trying
to decide what to do. "Go over there and pour some of that water into the bowl,"
he pointed to the sideboard where a pitcher and basin sat. Sully moved to follow
his instructions. "I have a small ice shed out back. Go into it and chip off
some pieces of ice to add to the water. It has to be colder than it is," he
instructed.
He waited until Sully had poured the water and gone outside for the ice before
loosening the top of Kay's dress. Not finding anything amiss with her breathing,
he rebuttoned Kay's dress just as Sully returned with the ice.
"Good, now add those pieces to the water then get a cloth from the table and
soak it in the water. We need to sponge her down some and try to bring down
her body temperature." Sully did as Doc requested, tenderly placing the wet
cloth on Michaela's neck and face, and at the same time watching Doc continue
to check for signs or causes for her condition. "What's this?" Doc asked and
Sully's eyes turned towards Michaela's bandaged hand, now being held in Doc's.
"I saw that, too, when I was carryin' her here, but didn't think nothin' of
it. I ain't seen her have any accidents of any sort, but like I said, I ain't
been around her in a few days." Sully continued to sponge Michaela, and Doc
slowly unwound the bandaging. His sharp intake of breath caused Sully to stop
again and look in his direction. "What is it?"
"I think I found the cause of her fever," Doc said, simply. "This cut's infected,
and it's begun to spread into her blood system. She must have bandaged it when
it happened, and it wasn't cleansed properly."
Sully's face paled at this news. Michaela? Infected cut? How could that be?
She was always extra careful in making sure everything was sterile and cleansed,
several times over. How could she have not done the same for herself? Was her
mind so affected by this loss of memory that she'd lost all sense of herself?
Doc noticed Sully's reaction. "Now, don't go gettin' too worried. I think we
may have caught it in time to do somethin' about it, but I can't be certain.
High fevers resulting from blood infections can be very serious, or they can
be merely temporary. I'm gonna clean out this wound and bandage it properly,
and then we're gonna take her somewhere where she can rest and recover."
"Ya ain't thinkin' of takin' her back to her room at the saloon, are ya?"
"I don't know," he answered, preparing his instruments and supplies to clean
the wound. "I don't have the room for her to stay here, since I haven't had
the chance to add any recovery rooms to this one room. And she wouldn't get
complete rest, here, with other patients coming and going. It's just not ideal."
"What about the boardinghouse? She can stay in my room!" Sully offered.
Doc looked at him, strangely, but didn't question. "No matter what, she's going
to need constant care and attention," he began, a little wary. He held out a
cloth, onto which he had just poured a little chloroform. "Here, hold this over
her mouth and nose, but only minimally. She's unconscious, now, but I don't
want her wakin' up while I'm disinfectin' the wound."
"I'll do it," Sully said simply, taking the cloth from Doc's hand.
"She'll need someone to be there to sponge her down and keep her as cool as
possible," he informed, setting to work. "I'm sure she'll have moments of bein'
awake and sleepin', as well as tossin' and turnin' from the effects of the fever,
so she'll need someone to make sure she gets plenty of liquids in her," he instructed,
trying to gauge whether Sully would be able to handle it.
"That ain't a problem. I ain't got nothin' better to do, and ‘sides, who
else around town can afford to be with her day and night and be away from their
work?"
"Ya got a good point, there," Doc nodded. He looked at the determined look in
Sully's eyes and realized he just might be the perfect answer to the situation.
Kay stirred a little in response to the alcohol Doc poured on her hand. Sully
immediately placed the cloth over her mouth and nose again, watching her carefully.
Doc saw Sully look at Kay's face and knew he'd give her all the love and care
she needed, same as any family member or loved one. Seeing it seemed to be the
best option, he agreed. "The boardinghouse is certainly one of the quietest
places in town. And I'm sure you wouldn't be alone. Kay's made some good friends
since she came here, and I know they'll be worried about her."
"Doc, ya gotta face it. I'm the best choice ya got right now," Sully stated,
convincingly. Truthfully, this unfortunate circumstance was just what Sully
needed. Time with his wife, alone.
"You know somethin'? You're right. I can see you wanna do this, although why
is beyond me, and I know Kay'll be extremely grateful for your care, as will
I." He finished cleansing and prepared to rewrap Kay's hand.
"I ain't gonna go into details now, Doc, but I'll tell ya everythin' about why
I'm so willin' soon enough. Just trust me for now, and I promise I won't let
you or Kay down." He stepped closer to Michaela and took her hot hand in his,
reaching with his other hand to tenderly caress her fevered head. "She'll get
what she needs. I promise ya."
"Well, it's all settled then," he stated with finality. He checked Kay's hand
to be sure it was bandaged securely, rechecked her pulse and heartbeat, and
declared all vital signs to be normal. "We'll get her over to your room, and
I'll check in on her daily, maybe even two times, to see how she's doin'. I'll
leave you explicit instructions on how to care for her, so together, we can
give her the best care possible."
Sully nodded. "Ya got my word."
* * * * *
Julia Morgan watched from the store and saw Sully carrying Kay across the street
and into the boardinghouse. Curious, she found Thomas and asked him to cover
the store for her. "I'm going for a little walk. I'll be back in a little while,"
she told him.
Stepping down off the wooden planks, she made her way towards the boardinghouse.
"Mrs. Hawkins, which room is Mr. Sully's?"
"Top of the stairs, turn right and first door on the left," the matronly woman
answered, almost before Julia was able to ask the entire question. It wasn't
strange for her to predict the question, considering she had obviously seen
Sully walk in a few moments earlier with Kay in his arms, followed by Doc.
"Thank you," Julia replied, lifting her skirts to ascend the steps. She tentatively
knocked on the door to the room where she was directed, and when she heard the
voice beckon her to enter, she pushed open the door. Kay, unconscious and under
the bedclothes in Sully's room, greeted her eyes as soon as she entered. "Oh,
my! What happened?" she exclaimed.
Doc turned towards her with a slight grimace on her face. "She has come down
with a fever from an infection in her hand, combined with overexposure to the
weather and elements of nature. I don't have the room for her to stay at my
place, so Sully volunteered to let her use his room for recovery. He's also
promised to care for her until she pulls out of this."
"And will she?" Julia asked, shifting her eyes off of Kay and onto Sully, who
sat at Kay's bedside, tenderly holding and caressing her hand. There was something
about the way he held her hand, and the way he was looking at her that seemed
to somehow not match with what was happening, but Julia couldn't put her finger
on it. It was almost like he seemed very familiar, very comfortable, with her,
although Julia knew they had only met a couple of weeks ago.
"I don't know," Doc replied, and Julia turned her attention to the other man.
"It's anybody's guess right now. I'm just thankful Sully has offered to care
for her when I can't. I will be checking in on her a couple of times a day,
as fevers brought on by infection can sometimes be fatal. She needed someplace
quiet, so here she is."
"Yes," Julia agreed. "Lord knows, the Shady Oak certainly ain't no place for
recuperating! Sully, I wanna thank you for offering. I'd take her to my place,
but that ain't a good idea, either, considering the store. I wouldn't be able
to care for her the way she needs."
Sully briefly looked up at Julia, his face clearly showing the despair he was
feeling. "It's the least I could do...considerin'..." He left his statement
hanging, like he was going to say more but thought against it, then returned
his gaze to Kay.
"Well, I have to be going," Doc announced. "I got some house calls to make outside
of town. I'll make sure I stop by on my way back in," he promised.
"Doc, before ya go, what kinds of foods or nourishment will Kay need?"
"She'll need lots of liquids -- soup, water, any fluids at all, since her body's
sweatin' it off right now with the fever."
"I'll make sure she has what she needs. One less thing for you two gentleman
to worry about."
"That'll be great, Julia. Thank you." With that, Doc turned and left the room.
Julia looked once again at Sully and decided not to remain any longer. He had
everything under control for now. "Sully?" she began and waited until he acknowledged
her. "I'm going back to the store, but ya know where to find me if ya need anything."
"Thanks," was all he said.
Julia slipped from the room, quietly, thinking how strange everything seemed.
Why would Sully volunteer to spend every waking moment caring for Kay? Why would
he offer his room as a place where she could recover, giving up his own bed
for her? Why would he seem to be so devoted to her? The obvious answer was that
he was in love with her, and Julia could see that, but there was more to it
than that. She shook her head. Now, was not the time to wonder about it. The
explanation would come soon enough. She had work to do.
* * * * *
Sully breathed a sigh of relief when Doc and Mrs. Morgan left. He had agreed
to let Michaela stay in his bed and room, so he could be with her day and night.
He needed to have time with her, to try to help her come out of her unconscious
state, to just be with her. He almost felt thankful this had happened to her,
but then he realized how selfish that sounded. There was no reason to be thankful
for an infection as serious as this, not when Michaela's life hung in the balance.
She had to get better, and he wasn't going to leave her side until she did.
He didn't want to think of the alternative.
He lifted her hand to the side of his face, cupping it around his cheek and
leaning into its softness. "Michaela, please," he pleaded in an anguished whisper.
"Ya gotta come outta this! Ya gotta fight this fever! Ya gotta wake up! I need
ya. I can't live without ya. A part of me is lyin' with ya right now. A part
of me is sick right along with ya, and it's hurtin' me to see ya so weak. So,
please, Michaela. Please, wake up!"
He continued to say those and similar words over and over for several minutes.
When he stopped, it was just to replace the now warm washcloth with a fresh,
cool one. He tenderly mopped her brow and ran the cloth over her face, neck
and upper chest. He brushed back the loose tendrils of her hair before placing
the new washcloth on her forehead, then he resumed holding her hand between
both of his.
"Michaela, please. Please. For me. For us. Ya gotta survive!" he pleaded, then
leaned forward and rested his head on his arms, which he placed on the bed beside
her. He closed his eyes and sent up a prayer for her recovery, asking for another
chance with her. "I don't know if anybody's listenin' up there, but all I ask
is for my wife to survive this. It ain't been easy bein' with her like she is,
and I just want her to live."
At that moment, he felt a movement on the bed, and his head snapped up. Michaela
moaned softly, and her hand flexed for the briefest of moments against his.
"Michaela?!" he beckoned. "Michaela? It's me, Sully. I'm right here. You're
gonna be all right. I ain't gonna let nothin' happen to ya. I promise!" he vowed.
She tossed and turned, but she didn't open her eyes. The episode didn't last
very long, and she was still again, breathing a little rapidly, but she was
calm. Sully reached over for the glass of water and put one arm behind her to
lift her to a raised position. He held her and allowed her head to fall slightly
back, then poured the water into her mouth, a little at a time and very slowly.
He made sure she swallowed, even though it was clear she wasn't cognizant of
her actions. Finally, the glass was empty, so he placed it back on the bedside
table and laid Michaela back down on the bed, making sure she seemed comfortable.
With her situated, Sully resumed his previous position with his head down. "At
least it's a start. I can't be expectin' her ta just jump right outta the bed
and be as good as new!" he said out loud. He focused on her breathing, which
had become a little more pronounced and less quiet. From what Doc said, that
was a good sign she was coming out of her unconscious state. He closed his eyes
and breathed a sigh a relief.
Unbeknownst to him, Hank stood outside the door, listening and watching.
* * * * *
Kay's mind was foggy and unclear. She didn't know where she was or what was
happening, and she wasn't able to shake this dark feeling. Combined with that
was a feeling of being very hot and cold all at once, but at the same time,
she felt comforted, and safe. It was a strange mixture of feelings, and it only
served to confuse her already muddled mind.
At first, her mind fought against the darkness which threatened to consume her.
She didn't know how long she had been surrounded by it, but it seemed to be
bound and determined to envelope her, making her lose all sense of awareness
and force her into a deep, dark place from which she would never return. Not
really understand what was happening, but for some reason knowing she didn't
want to surrender, she fought hard against it and saw a sliver of light somewhere
in the distance. It wasn't clear, but it was there, and it gave her something
for which to strive, some hope to keep her going.
Now, if she could just figure out these dreams. They were coming again, with
full force, seeming to slam against her with a fury which nearly overpowered
her. They consumed her every thought and forced her to focus on them, trying
to make sense of the jumbled mess they were creating in her mind. She had been
having them for over a month, now, but recently, they were more frequent, more
connected, and more clear than they'd been at the beginning. If only she could
put the pieces together...
* * * * *
She tenderly cared for his wounds, at least the ones she could see. However,
there was no way of knowing if his injuries were more extensive. He wasn't conscious,
and he had been beaten badly. She prayed he would recover, knowing he had touched
something in her heart, something she had thought was buried long ago. If he
died, she didn't know if she could continue. She would think it was her fault,
think she had something to do with his pain and suffering. She had to be strong,
for him. She couldn't allow her emotions to get involved, but it was quickly
becoming too late for that. If only she could see his face...
She stayed by his bedside night and day. She didn't eat. She didn't sleep. She
just watched over him, scared that if she fell asleep or left his side, he wouldn't
make it. She had done what she never thought she could do, and now she had to
wait to see if her work was successful. It was agony having to deal with the
stress and strain of watching someone you love suffer, but there was nothing
else she could do. Her friends encouraged her to eat, but she couldn't find
the strength...
She walked towards him, calling his name, but he didn't hear. She touched his
shoulder, and he turned. She wrapped her arms around him and cried tears of
joy, happy he was alright. She lifted him into her arms, hugging him close.
Then the two of them were wrapped in the arms of another person, the comfort
and security as sure as the dawn...
He walked towards her, a slight smile on his face, and made his way to stand
next to her. She tried hard not to watch him, but she was fast losing the battle.
When he put his arm around her, she felt a feeling of rightness, something unfamiliar
to her in the past. Now, however, everything seemed to be going well. Everything
was right with the world...
She called to him, disoriented,
wondering where she was. She looked down at the ferns and soft grasses on which
she laid. He had made this bed for her, had made sure she was comfortable. Now,
he came to her, wrapped her in his loving arms, telling her everything was going
to be alright, whispering words of comfort and assurance to her. He had found
something for her to eat, and she tried, but she just wanted to be held, wanted
to feel the peace of knowing she would be alright, that he was there for her,
that he would protect her and keep her safe. Somehow, she knew he would come
for her, but until she saw him, she couldn't completely believe. Now that he
was here, she could relax...
She couldn't look at him. She couldn't even bear to look at herself. It was
all her fault, and seeing him only made her remember. She couldn't do anything
to keep the images from her mind. They haunted her day and night, and no matter
how much he assured her that it wasn't her fault, her mind couldn't listen.
She needed to be alone, but he wouldn't let her retreat into herself. He kept
forcing her, and she kept wishing he would leave. Deep down inside, however,
she wanted him to stay, needed him to be there with her, and he was. He had
proven his love over and over, and she just needed to reach out and hold on
to it...
She awoke, feeling like she had slept the best she'd slept in a long time, experiencing
a feeling of comfort and love like she'd never felt. She turned, but realized
she was held in someone's arms -- his arms. At first, she felt a little confused,
and she almost tried to free herself from the captivity, but then she realized
where she was and smiled. She was happy. She was content. Waking up in his arms
was the best feeling in the world, and she wasn't going to do anything to change
her position...
She felt him come up behind her before he wrapped his arms around her waist.
She leaned back into him, enjoying his affections. He whispered in her ear,
and she forced herself not to tense. She didn't know why she was worried, or
why she was feeling this way, but she was, and there was nothing she could do.
She was scared. She was fearful. She didn't know if she could make him happy,
despite how many times he comforted her. She didn't know if she could bear it
if he should take his love from her because she was unable to make him happy...
Michaela tossed
and turned in the bed, and Sully was immediately by her side, trying to hold
her still and trying to speak words of assurance to her. He held the cool washcloth
to her face and tried to wipe off the sweat from her fever, but it only seemed
to get worse. It seemed to climb higher, and there was nothing he could do.
"What's wrong?" Belle said from the doorway, watching the scene playing out
before her. She had gotten permission to come over and see her friend, but she
hadn't expected to be met with this.
"She must be havin' some sort of dream or somethin'. I can't get her calmed
down," Sully answered, not even turning to see who had asked the question.
Belle immediately rushed to the other side of the bed, doing what she could
to help. They both tried to still Kay, and within a few minutes, the tossing
and turning eased in intensity. She still continued to move about in the bed,
but it was only with minimal movements. Then, she started mumbling, only her
words were unintelligible, and neither Sully nor Belle could figure out what
she was saying.
Sully fell back into his chair, taking hold of her hand once again, as if to
reassure her and will her to be calm. It helped only a little, but her mumbling
continued, albeit softly. Belle pulled the only other chair in the room over
to the other side of the bed, where she was standing and sat down. She looked
across the bed at Sully, watched him tenderly stroke the back of Kay's hand.
"Sully?"
"Hmm?"
"How is she, really?"
Sully looked up at Belle, trying hard to force an encouraging look onto his
face. "Truth is, I really don't know. Doc said it's a good sign it ain't been
too long since she got the cut, and a good sign she's movin' like's she doin'.
I don't know about the mumblin' or nothin'."
"Wait, the cut? You mean, the cut on her hand caused this?" Belle asked, surprised.
"You knew about it?"
"Yeah, I was there when it happened. Helped her clean up the mess she made from
the broken glass. She told me ta go back to work, so I did. I saw her go into
the kitchen, but I didn't know what she was doin'. Next thing I know, she's
out and workin' again, and her hand's bandaged up. I know Jim told her to have
it looked at by Doc, but she said she was fine. I knew I shoulda told Doc about
her," Belle finished, more to herself than to Sully.
"It ain't your fault," Sully assured her. "She just didn't think it was a big
deal, is all. Don't go blamin' yaself. There wasn't nothin' ya coulda done,
anyways."
"I guess you're right. I guess what's important is bein' with her now, and doin'
what we can to make sure she gets better," Belle looked at her friend.
"Yeah, that's what Doc said."
"So, how did you come ta be carin' for Kay?"
Sully nearly corrected her on Michaela's name, but caught himself in time. "Well,
ya saw what happened at the Shady Oak when she passed out," he paused, and at
her nod, he continued. "I took her to Doc, and he figured out it was her hand
that got infected, so he cleaned it out, then said how she needed a place to
stay, where it was quiet, and where someone could watch her day and night. Seein'
how everyone else here's got jobs ta do and how her room at the saloon is less
than quiet, I offered my room and my help. I ain't got nothin' better to do,
and besides, I sorta feel like it's partly my fault," he confessed.
"Whaddya mean?"
"Well, we took a walk a few days ago, before that storm hit, only we didn't
make it back to town before the rain came, so we waited it out under a shelter
I made out in the trees by the creek. She and I both were soaked, and I think
the fact that she ain't been sleepin' added to bein' exposed to the storm mighta
caused this infection to happen faster. Her body wasn't strong enough to fight
it off," he explained.
"Well, I guess we all could go blamin' ourselves, but like ya said, ain't no
use in that. Might as well just do our best to make sure she gets better."
"Yeah, and I ain't goin' nowhere until she does," he declared.
"So, wanna tell me why ya really offered ta stay with her?" Belle smiled
across the bed at him.
Sully allowed a small smirk to form on his lips and chuckled. "Ain't no foolin'
ya, is there?"
"Not when ya see what I see day in an' day out!" she replied. "I can read a
man's intentions and feelin's easier than I can serve drinks," she boasted,
smiling at her own analogy.
Sully smiled, too, allowing himself a small amount of relief and enjoyment for
the first time in days.
"Well, I best be goin'. I just stopped in to see Kay, and I brought some flowers
here to brighten up the room a bit," she announced, getting up to walk over
to the dresser, where she had put the flowers when she first entered. "‘Sides,
seems like ya got everythin' under control, here, anyways. Might as well be
gettin' back to work."
"Thanks, Belle...for everythin'," he replied, and she knew what he meant.
"She's real special, Sully, and I'm happy for her that she's got someone like
you to love her. I know she's in real good hands. ‘Course, I'm a bit jealous,
but I'll get over it!" she finished and sent a teasing smile his way, then walked
out of the room.
Sully watched the door for several moments after Belle left. She really was
a good person, deep down, and he was grateful Michaela had found such good friends
while she was here. Now, he just had to help her get better, so she could enjoy
those friendships again.
He scooted his chair closer to her side and lifted her hand to place a tender
kiss on the back. He felt Michaela tighten her hand ever so slightly against
his and he immediately looked to her face. Her eyes were moving as if trying
to open, and her mumbling had ceased, as well as her tossing movements. He reached
up a hand to caress her cheek and felt her temperature as being a little cooler
than the last time he had touched her face.
"I'm here, Michaela. I'm here. Just rest easy and relax. I'm not leavin' ya.
I'm never leavin' ya," he assured her.
She opened her eyes, slowly, and turned her head a little towards his voice.
Her eyes were unfocused, and she looked very confused, but she was looking at
him. He allowed a slight grin to form on his lips, but there was no reaction.
She just remained the same, staring right at him, yet not seeing him. Then,
she slowly closed her eyes again, her almost immediate slow and steady breathing
evidence of her having fallen asleep. Sully replaced the washcloth yet again
and sighed. She was getting better. He just had to wait.