Humor in Life -- Whitewater Rafting, Dogs and Recliner Chairs...oh my!

For today's author spotlight, you'll find it below this post. I didn't want to skip out on my new goal for sharing some lighthearted stories to brighten your day. Last year at this time, I was posting weekly updates on the countdown to my wedding. Now that the craziness and hectic planning period is passed, you get the privilege of a glimpse into REAL life with me.

So, fasten your seatbelts. It's sure to be a bumpy ride!

Last week, I again spent time at Kim Woodhouse's home. Our typical "lunch" turned into an all-day affair, but the highlight by far, was watching Kim struggle with her recliner chair in the living room. She swears the thing's possessed and has it in for her. After seeing her try to get out of the thing, I'm inclined to believe her.

Quite easily, she kicks back and extends the footrest to relax and work on emails and other things on her laptop. But before long, it's time to move on to something else. So, she scoots forward and attempts to kick the footrest back in place, which will set the recliner upright again and allow her to stand.

Unfortunately, that's not to be for Kim. As I'm sure you've noticed, life tends to be a bit more complicated for her, and this recliner apparently knows it! It's not going to miss a chance to have its share of the pie, so it makes the footrest nigh onto impossible to go back in place. You can imagine the view at seeing someone sitting down and trying to kick a footrest back so that it clicks. If she tries to straddle the piece and get up, the chair reclines again and throws her back against the cushions, trapping her in its menacing clutches.

Finally, spent and exhausted from her own attempts, she frantically calls to her daughter, Kayla, to come and rescue her poor mother from the grasp of the evil recliner. Sweet Kayla comes, with a smile on her face and waits for Kim to lift her legs high in the air. Again, quite a comical sight. Kayla proceeds to plop onto the floor in front of the chair, brace herself and place her feet against the footrest. With a solid shove, the footrest clicks into place and Kim is free!

Thanks, Kayla!

And that's not all. If you've managed to catch your breath or scrunch your cheeks back into place after laughing at the above image, here's another one for you.

This past weekend, my husband and our puppy, Roxie, went down to my husband's parents' place for Easter. Once leaving the overcast and snowy Colorado Springs, the blue skies appeared and it turned out to be a beautiful day. So, we decided to drive a little further and snap some pictures of the snow-capped Sangre de Cristo mountains in the Wetmoor Valley. Along the way, we opened the windows in the back seat for Roxie so she could get a good whiff of the smells and fresh air down that way.

Well, we also recently learned that she's a Border Collie/Black Lab mix. As such, she has an instinctive "herding" nature in her that comes out full force when she's on a walk or in the car. It's commonplace to see a dog with its head out the window of a moving car. But, I don't know if you've often had the occasion to witness a dog's head whipping from the front to the back of the open window as a car passes going the opposite way. It's almost as if the wind catches hold of her head and decides to carry her head with it.

But, it's actually Roxie wanted to "herd" the cars that are getting past her. She doesn't want to let a single one of them get away, so she tries her hardest to get them back in place. It's a good thing we only allow enough room for her head. Otherwise, she'd no doubt be out that window in a flash. Viewing this from the front seat is quite the amusement, I assure you.

The final part of our drive had my husband listing off all the things he wants me to do this summer. Camping, fishing, hiking, and lots of outdoor things. All of that sounds good to me. But there is one thing that I'm not sure I can manage.

Whitewater Rafting!

Yes, that's right. My husband wants me to get into a large cylindrical rubber tube with paddles/oars on the side and foot braces along the bottom, then shove off from solid land into the menacing waters of the Arkansas River. Now, back East this wouldn't be much of an issue, as the rivers are mostly wide and somewhat lazy...at least where I've canoed and tubed. But, out here? They're narrow and fast! Those two combinations just don't sound all that appealing to me.

Picture it with me. This open-topped and open-sided tube is bouncing and rushing along the choppy waters and glancing off of rocks in the riverbed, all the while being piloted by the rest of the passengers (me included!) with commands from the raft leader to paddle a certain way when we encounter a rock or particularly fast-moving rapids.

I can see it now. I'm sitting, feet firmly hooked under the braces to keep my bottom glued to the seat, oar in hand and witnessing the oncoming crash of water that's about to swallow us whole! Then, I hear the shout of the raft leader to paddle more to the left, then to the right, then backpaddle to slow us down. I wish he'd make up his mind! All the while, I'm frantically attempting to keep my feet secure and my bottom glued, because at any moment, I'm going to go projectile into the raging waters, pulled beneath the torrent and left behind by the rest of the raft members.

And so ends the tale of that poor gal who just couldn't keep her seat....

Umm...yeah. I don't think so!

Humor in Life -- Shopping and Web Sites

Top o' the Mornin' to Ya! And a fine mornin' 'tis too. Not much green to be seen 'round here, but sure'n we got plenty of the white powdery coating outside. 'Tis a beautiful blue sky day with a wee bit of fluffy clouds over the mountains. Mind ya don't go dancin' an Irish jig without a wee leprechaun by your side. Me best wishes that ye be findin' that pot o' gold ye be wantin' and best of luck to ya!

Ok, so I posted last week about my new search to discover the humor in life. And I also shared about the friend who inspired this. So, it only seems fitting that time spent with her is what led to today's reports of the humor from this past week.

First, this past Friday, we went to Best Buy to return an item she'd purchased that ended up not being what she needed. Within seconds of walking in the door, our little venture started out with laughter.

Kim asked the salesperson standing near the front where we needed to go for straight returns. Without missing a beat, he looked at me, then back at Kim and said, "She looks fine to me, why would you want to return her?"

I have to admit that never in my life have I had a salesperson say that to me or about me. What a hoot! Kim and I looked at each other and shared a laugh, then as we made our way to the returns lane, we both agreed that would be the first item to make it into my humor post.

The second happened later that same day. I was at Kim's working on her web site and discovered some of the HTML coding was incomplete. So, we worked together to fix that and when it was all done, she joyfully announced that...

"I have meta tags!"

Her husband walked by, and she told him too, then asked him if he knew what those were. He looked at her and said, "Do you need medication or pills for them?"

Talk about quick wit and a strong connection to the funny bone! LOL! Kim and I both lapsed into giggles and laughter at that one. Again, we agreed that it was classic enough and perfect for this post.

Btw, for those who don't know, 'meta tags' are HTML coding in the header of a web page that tells search engines how to catalogue a web site so when browsers type in keywords, the sites are ranked according to the tags.

And there you have it. My humor moments from this past week. I'll be spending TWO days with Kim this week and one with my critique group. Who knows what can happen between now and next Monday.

Stay tuned!

Humor in Life / Why Men Are Happier than Women!

All right. I admit it. In my spare time lately, I've been spending time with a celebrity (and she'll likely scold me for this). She's a great lady, with lots of class, and people recognize her everywhere she goes. But she's not your typical celebrity. She actually speaks to 'normal' people and makes it her life mission to be a blessing to others in any way she can. Her name is Kimberley Woodhouse ('Kim' to most) and her family was a recent recipient of a brand new home courtesy of Extreme Makeover and ABC.

But there is more to her than the notoriety of a TV show--far too much for this post. So, I'll snip it a bit and say that thanks to my friendship with her, I'm rediscovering my funny bone. I think I shoved it to some unmentionable place, bogged down by the responsibilities of life. Not anymore, though.

I mentioned Kim's life mission. Well, a lot of that mission is accomplished through humor. She has a fantastic way of seeing the fun in life, and after spending just a few hours with her, you're usually good for at least two weeks of seeing the laughter moments in your own life. You'd be amazed at what you see when you're looking at life through funny-bone-colored glasses. :)

So, I've now made it MY mission to rediscover my funny bone and do my part in bringing a little light and fun to others. At least, I'll try. Look out Colorado Springs!

Of course, I might just fail miserably because I'm too practical and serious for this to work. But I'm willing to give it a shot.

Now, let's take a trip down the lane that draws the line between men and women and why men often find it easier to laugh than women do:

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A friend and fellow author had this on her blog just before Christmas, and I found it too true not to share . . .

Men Are Just Happier People — what do you expect from such simple creatures?

• Your last name stays put.
• The garage is all yours.
• Chocolate is just another snack.
• You can be President.
• You can never be pregnant.
• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park or you donʼt have to wear any shirt at all.
• Car mechanics tell YOU the truth.
• The world is your urinal.
• You never have to drive to another gas station because the restroom was just too icky.
• You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
• Same work, more pay.
• Wrinkles add character.
• People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
• New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
• One mood all the time.
• Wedding dress: $5000; tux rental: $100; wedding plans taking care of themselves: PRICELESS
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
• You know stuff about tanks.
• A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
• You can open all your own jars.
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
• If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
• Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
• You almost never have strap problems in public.
• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
• Everything on your face stays its original color.
• The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
• You only have to shave your face and neck.
• You can play with toys all your life.
• One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.
• You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
• You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
• You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
• You can do your gift shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 23 minutes.

No wonder men are happier creatures!

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And thus ends today's quest for finding more humor in my life so that I might bring a smile to your face--or maybe just a grin--or actually just a twitch to your lips--or perhaps....oh nevermind. Just stay tuned for next week and more.

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